Inday the Wondermaid.

First time kong nareceived ang text about Inday’s existence sa friend kong si Sheng. I thought kung sinong Inday yung sinasabi nya, yun pala isa na namang Text-serye ito! Para po sa kaalaman ng mga kababayan nating nasa ibang bansa, si Inday po ay sikat dito sa atin at isa sa pinagkakaguluhan pagdating sa txt messaging.

Hanggang malaman laman ko naging series na ito sa blog ni Mama Reynz at take note po Number 1 ang post ni Mama Renyz sa Google! Praise you Inday! Este Mama Reynz ;-) Kumalat na nga din ang tsismis sa buong blogosphere at talagang mabenta itong si Inday kahit saan!

Bakit nga ba panay ang ingles nyang si Inday at talagang ang lufet ha, hanggang kaibuturan ng buto ko di ko marurok ang kalaliman ng Ingles ni Inday! Totoo kaya ang tsismis sa pinagmulan ni Inday? Eto naman ang konting nalaman ko tungkol sa existence ni Inday! Hala basa…

Inday, the Wondermaid, is a long lost daughter of the Herap Hestrada who happens to know everything about their wealth. During his court hearing, Inday told him that she was his long lost daughter, however, since Inday is a product of a Hestrada and a Mayordoma, the plunderer denied her as his child and was exiled to a far flung province where a man, who has fall in love with her, supported her and admitted her in a private school.

Inday call this man as Daddy short legs.

Now, when Inday reached college, she was the most outstanding student of their university that a lot of students hated her for being so “intelligenic”. One scorching Monday morning, a conspiracy was planned against Inday. Her jar was contaminated by one of her rivals with mercury. But unfortunately, the thirsty daddy short legs asked for a glass of water. Hence, instead of Inday doing “ngisay-ngisay” movements, it is her daddy who was poisoned with the mercuric water.

Because of the sudden death of his daddy-short-legs, she can no longer support herself to study at that university and was forced to work as a maid in Manila. Thereafter, she promised to herself that she will avenge the death of her daddy-short-legs by shouting in the middle of the rain: Hinnnndddiiiiii! Daddy-short-legs! Magbabayad sila sa ginawa nila! Matitikman nila ang lupit ng paghihiganti ng isang dukha!

Since then, she never spoke Tagalog.

O di ba? History ito? hehehehe. Hanggang sa dumami ng dumami ang nagsesend sakin ng Inday mania na yan, hanggang sa namasukan na nga siya!

Dahil sa tindi ng kahirapan sa probinsya, namasukan si Inday
bilang katulong sa Maynila. Habang ini-interview ng amo…

Amo: Kelangan namin ng katulong para mag ayos ng bahay, magluto,
maglaba, magplantsa, mamalengke, at magbantay ng mga bata. Kaya mo
ba ang lahat ng ito?

Inday: I believe that my trained skills and expertise in management
with the use of standard tools, and my discipline and experience will
contribute significantly to the value of the work that you want, my
creativity, productivity and work-efficiency and the high quality of
outcomes I can offer will boost the work progress.

Amo: [nosebleed]

Impressed ang employer kaya hayun me trabaho na si Inday! Pero unang gabi ni Inday hindi sya agad nakatulog. Nahomesick ang lola mo and for the first time ito ang sabi nya,

Stay awake in the coldness of the darkened sky contemplating why, for some reasons, has my emptiness made itself manifests extending to that niche where i was given life and growth that because of austerity i was made separation from…

- INDAY hindi makatulog dahil nahohomesick

Hanggang pinilit nyang makatulog at kinabukasan inutusan siya ng Amo nya na magluto. Nagluto ang lola Inday pero ito ang nangyari,

Amo: Inday, paki-abot nga ‘yung ketchup…

Inday: While it can hardly be considered a health food, ketchup has been found to be a beneficial source of lycopene, an antioxidant which fights some forms of cancer. This is particularly true of the organic brands of ketchup. In fact, organic brands were found to contain three times as much lycopene as non-organic brands. Ketchup, much like marinara sauce and other cooked tomato foods, yields higher levels of lycopene per serving because cooking makes lycopene in tomatoes more bio-available.

Amo: Gaga!

At Amo: Bakit maalat ang ulam?

Inday: The consistency was fine. But you see, it seems that the
increased amount of sodium chloride (NaCl) affected the taste
drastically and those actions are irreversible. I do apologize.

Amo: [nosebleed na naman]

Kinagabihan habang nagluluto si Inday ng hapunan, malikot si junior.

Inday: Stop your raucous behavior. It is bound to result in property
damages and if that happens there will be corresponding punishment to be
inflicted upon you!

Junior: [takbo sa CR, punasan ang nagdudugong ilong]

At habang nagluluto si Inday hindi nya napansin ang pagpunta ni Junior sa CR, kaya pag-uwi ng Amo nya eto ang sumalubong sa kanya,

AMO: INDAY! bakit may bukol c junior?

INDAY: Junior fell from the table whereby the mechanism of injury resulted to a non-depressed contussion hematomaat the parietal area secondary to a previos intake of a prioprioceptive altering drug. upon examination, junior has acalculia, agnosia, aphasia andagraphaesthesia confirming inflammation at the parietal lobe. Little evidence of serosanguinous extravasation is noted this prompts immediate confinement.

AMO: [nosebleed again and again]

Kawawang Inday napagalitan ng Amo, kaya sumulat siya sa kanyang Nanay at eto natanggap nyang sagot,

Dear mom,

had it not been for the smelling salt, i must have collapsed moment ago. Junior has become a little monster to me. Remember the head accident he had? As if it wasn’t enough, he was summoned by the principal of his shabily run academe. oh, such an erudite bunch of baboons! i never thought being a governess can be such strenous employ!

Your daughter,
INDAY

Dear INDAY,
Walang hiya ka! magpadala ka ng pera! nasa ospital nanay mo!! dumugo ilong kakabasa ng pesteng sulat mo!

- tatay

At dahil sa sulat ng kanyang Tatay at nabalitaan ang nangyari sa Nanay nya, gumawa si Inday ng paraan,

AMO: Inday, bakit mo binenta yung sira na silya?

INDAY: I have computed the chair’s fair value less cost to sell, and the value in use using projections for 5 years and a pretax discounting rate. Accordingly, the value in use is lower, so I decided to sell the chair. This is in accordance with PAS 18 on Revenue, PAS 16 on PPE and PAS 36 on Impairment of Assets.

AMO: Hinimatay!

Hahahaha… Magaling dina pala si Inday sa Accounting!

Madami pang mga pangyayari sa buhay ni Inday na kailanman hinding hindi nya malilimutan, tulad nito,

Don’t limit my capacity in the four corners of this luxurious abode. Expose me to the real challenges of the outside world. I want to grow as an individual with dynamic experiences. –Inday, nagrereklamo kase ayaw siya isama sa Enchanted Kingdom

Listening to the nonsense talk about someone’s life is a pathetic way of entertainment. It doesn’t contribute to the good of society. I hate character assassinators! –reklamo naman ni Inday nang natsismis siya ng kapitbahay

At isang gabi me nag text ke Inday. Si Dodong, ang driver ng kapitbahay, gusto maki pag text-mate.

Inday: To forestall further hopes of acquaintance, my unfathomable
statement to the denial of your request - Petition denied.

Di nagla-on, dahil sa tyaga ni Dodong, nagging syota nya rin si Inday. Pero di tumagal ang kanilang relasyon, at nakipag-break si Inday ke Dodong.

Inday: The statute restricts me to love you but you have the provocations. The way you smile is the proximate cause why I love you. We have some rules to think of. We have no vested rights to love each other because the upper household dismissed my petition!”

Dodong: Perhaps you are mistaken, what you seem to contrive as any affections for you are somewhat half-hearted. I was merely attempting to expand my network of interests by involving you in my daily recreation. Heretofor, you can expect an end to any verbal articulation from myself.

Me dumaan na mamang basurero, at narinig ang usapan ni Inday at Dodong.

Basurero (sabi ke Inday): Be careful in letting go of the things you thought are just nothing because maybe someday you’ll realize that the one
you gave away is the very thing you’ve been wishing for to stay.

Narinig ang lahat ng eto ng amo ni inday.

Amo: [nagpakamatay]

Sa hindi inaasahan, namatay nga ang amo ni Inday, Kawawang lola Inday wala ng Amo kaya wala na ding trabaho. Hanggang isang araw, nakilala nya si Ederlyn ( si Ederlyn po ay isa ding sikat na Pinay sa text na kinalokohan ng lahat! lols)

EDERLYN: ikaw ba ang INDAY na sinasabi nila? At sino ka para itulad sa akin ang iyong kasikatan? ngayong ako’y nananahimik na? Wala lang karapatan para pantayan ako!! Hayop ka!

INDAY: My apologies, but the fact is, your glory days are over my friend. I find it somewhat ridiculous, your persistence on persuading people to come to your party that never existed is beginning to get into my nerves! Damn you EDERLYN! Damn You, No one undermines INDAY’s intellect… BITCH!

EDERLYN: Mas maganda pa rin ako sayo! Katulong ka lang!

INDAY: How dare you insinuate that i can tolerate such a diabolical insult from a mere scrap such as you! which if you further insist, i’ll be forced to pulverize you!

(dumugo din ilong ni EDERLYN.. umalis ng umiiyak)

Dahil sa pangyayaring yun humingi ng apology ang ingleserang si Inday. Tinanggap ni Ederlyn si Inday, ngayon bilang isang Amo na. Hay thanks God at me work na ulit si Inday.

Pumasok si Inday bilang katulong nina Ederlyn last June lang.. Baguhan siya kaya medyo wala pang masyadong alam sa pagiging katulong.. Isang araw, inutusan ni Ederlyn si Inday:

“Ederlyn: Inday! Pagkatapos mong maglaba, linisin mo buong bahay pati kisame at kaskasin mo yung tiles ng dalawang pool! Paliguan mo na yung tatlong aso at magluto ka na ng hapunan dahil maya-maya lang, darating na ang sir mo. Tapos, pumunta ka kina Mrs Rosales, dalhin mo yung apat na malalaking kahon. Bumili ka na din ng isang galing mantika, ketchup, toyo, 10 sardinas, 20 corned beef, 30 century tuna, 15 maling, at isang sakong bigas. Oh, heto pera. Sakto yan. Maglakad ka na lang at strike mga tricycle ngayon, okay?

Inday: **** INA MO!”

Simula nun, nabuwisit na si Ederlyn sa kanya. Pero sa halip na sisantihin niya si Inday ay pinag-alsa balutan niya to at ipinadala sa Inglatera para doon mag-aral ng good manners and right conduct.

Makalipas ang 2weeks, dahil crash course lang naman ang kinuha ni Inday (kagaya nang kay Angel Locsin) ay bumalik na ito at muling sumabak sa pagkakatulong. Ngunit isang napakabagong Inday ang nasaksihan nina Ederlyn.

Ederlyn: Inday! Bumili ka nga ng mga isda! Oo nga pala, inglesera ka na nga pala ngayon. Would you please purchase many fishes for our this week’s meals?

Inday: Judging from your statement, I believe you meant a variety of fish. The term “fishes”, although rarely and erroneously used, connotes a plethora or an array of different kinds of the aforementioned gilled creatures. But the more pressing questions before I traverse the road to the wet market would be: What type of fish? Fillet or not? Frozen or just right smack the day’s catch” (Pauses) Aaaaahh. By manner of careful extrapolation, given the neager budget and this household’s quasi-peasant middle class taste, I assume then I will source the staple “Ga-lewng-gong”, am I correct?

Edetlyn: Leche!

Inday: Oh, you meant the freshwater milkfish? The “ba-ngooz.” Is it not?

At sa sobrang inis ni Ederlyn kay Inday hindi sya nakatiis, Bang Bang Bang! Walang nakasaksi sa mga pangyayari, at ang balita,

Pinatay daw ni Ederlyn si Inday,

“I was shot by 9mm bullet at the head damaging my entire studpid brain and my ****ing skull so that i will die and stop speaking english preventing people fomr nosebleeding!”

- in loving memory
Inday

Hanggang isang umaga, sa TV FLASH REPORT!: Inday is alive she’s not yet dead. . .

SOCO found out that, the IMPOSTORA
of Inday was killed. .
Ederlyn was the master
mind. .

SOCO: Bakit mo pinapatay si Inday?

Ederlyn: kasi inagaw nya sakin si dodong!

Ederlyn: dong, mahal kita. . diba mahal mo rin ako?

Dodong: I never. . said that i love you. .
(sye+, 2loy ang nosebleed!)

Teka may lates news about Inday!

Isinama si Inday ng kanyang bagong amo sa hotel at pumasok sila sa elevator,

Mamang Operator : Good Morning Ladies!

Nagkatitigan ang mamang operator at si Inday. Napangiti si Inday.

Mamang operator : I like your smile… Nagblush si Inday at halatang kinilig!

And for the first time hindi sia nakapagsalita! hehehehehe

At dyan nagwawakas ang masaklap na mga pangyayari sa buhay ni Inday the Wondermaid. Pero malay natin meron pang susunod na kabanata ito. Kaya huwag kang kukurap! Abangan!

Inday the Wondermaid by Pinoy Ambisyoso.

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